October in Canada drifts in like a quiet sermon. Trees are ablaze with colour and release their leaves without resistance. They don’t struggle with surrender. They don’t cling to what once was; they trust the process of change.
And that, I think, is what faith looks like. A steady leaning into God’s faithfulness. It’s choosing to believe that His grip is sure even when ours falters. Because faith doesn’t mean we stop wrestling; faith threads hope through it, reminding us that even in the tension, God remains good.
We can bring God our unfinished stories—the chapters we don’t yet understand—and trust that He is still writing them toward redemption. His pen does not slip.
In the fiction I write, my characters often reach a moment when they must release what they thought they needed to make room for something far better. It’s a painful grace, that moment of open hands. And that’s what this season can teach us too.
What appears to be loss may, in truth, be the soil of renewal. Autumn isn’t an ending. Beneath the bare branches, new life is already taking root.
I’m part of a group of women reading and discussing Dark Clouds Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop. There is so much about this book that I love. Here are some of my favourite quotes from the introduction and chapter one:
Pg 19 – Lament gives “permission to wrestle with sorrow instead of rushing to end it.”
Pg 21 – “Lament is how we bring our sorrow to God. Without lament, we won’t know how to process pain. Silence, bitterness, and even anger can dominate our spiritual lives instead. Without lament, we won’t know how to help people walking through sorrow. Instead, we’ll offer solutions, unhelpful comments, or impatient responses. What’s more, without this sacred song of sorrow, we’ll miss the lessons historical laments are intended to teach us. Lament is how Christians grieve.”
Pg 26 – “Lament stands in the gap between pain and promise”
Pg 36 – “Hurting people are given permission to grieve, but not aimlessly or selfishly. The biblical language of lament is able to redirect a weeping people to what is true despite the valley they are walking through.”
As I continue to dwell on this book and the passages of Scripture it is leading me to study, I remembered a bible study from years ago. I don’t remember the study itself, but I do remember one bit of homework. We were to write a psalm—a song of praise. As I remembered how much I enjoyed that process, I considered the balm it might be to a write a lament—a song of sorrow, declaring my dependance on God in a season of unknowns. Here it is.
To my God who hears, my God who answers, attend to the cry of my heart. My steps falter and my strength withers, But I know You are near the broken. Yet you feel far away.
Life trembles at every touch. Fear sits heavy upon my chest — fear that this burden will not lift, fear of unwanted change, fear that stretches into the valley where death casts its shadow.
But You, O Lord, are my help. Draw near in my confusion. Take hold of my wavering hand; quiet my racing mind.
When shadows gather, keep me from sinking; When the path is hidden, teach me to trust. Restore what is broken. Breathe healing into aching bones. Awaken hope again.
You have not forgotten those who call You Father. You do not abandon those who wait. Because You are with me, I will lift my voice. I will praise the One who keeps His promises, and find in Your presence a refuge for my trembling soul.
“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”
Psalm 27:13–14
I love David’s confidence because although I’ve always believed that God can, I sometimes wonder if He will. I believe in God’s ability. Scripture and history confirm it. But somewhere deep down, I wrestle with whether God’s willingness to be good to me extends all the way to my present circumstances. Because God can, but He might not.
David doesn’t seem to have those doubts. David believes that the God who made heaven and earth will actually show His goodness before David’s life is over. David is convinced that God is active in the present tense.
As I think on this, I’ve come to see that I’ve sometimes treated the promise of God’s goodness to me like a retirement plan. It’s something I won’t cash in and enjoy until eternity. And while it is true, believers will enjoy the ultimate goodness of God in eternity, David reminds me that God is also weaving His goodness into the earthly side of my story. God is good to me right now.
That goodness may come as a breakthrough. It might be a healing, a restored relationship, a door opening at just the right time. Or, it might be the sustaining grace to walk through the valley without collapsing. It has taken some time for me to see that God’s goodness is not always the removal of pain, but it is always the presence of God in it and the unexpected ways He redeems what feels irredeemable.
David has taken me by the shoulders and said, “Wait for the LORD; be strong; take heart…” He’s saying, “Hold your position. Keep your eyes on God. Don’t drop your expectations.”
You will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
Yes, I’m praying through my own prayer book. Why? Because I wrote it for myself just as much (and maybe even more) than I wrote it for anyone else. This is not my first time through it, but once again, I’m amazed at how perfectly the Lord is using it to encourage my heart.
Kevin’s still off work, and we are still in the dark regarding the root issues of his struggling health. My dad has been in and out of the hospital this past month. A lot of things are unclear, and it would be really easy to sink into despair. Then I turn the page to day 26.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Phil 4:7
Jesus tells us, “Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid” (John 14:27). But some days, it feels like trouble is all around us. The world shifts and shakes, and fear creeps in. We know what God says—yet we wrestle to believe it.
Peace often feels out of reach because we look for it in the wrong places. We think it will come when circumstances settle, when wars end, or when headlines finally bring good reports. But Jesus makes it clear: the peace He gives is not as the world gives. It is different. It is deeper.
We are called to trust that the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. It’s not about escaping the storm; it’s about knowing the One who commands it.
Yes, we will have moments of weakness. We will cry, feel overwhelmed, and wonder how to go on. But every morning, His mercies are new. Every day, He invites us to start again—not in our strength, but in His.
When we fix our minds on Christ, we find a peace the world cannot offer. This peace steadies us even when nothing around us changes.i
Prayer
Father,
You are my peace. When life feels out of control, You are the One who holds me steady and sets my feet on solid ground. Thank You for being my unshakable refuge and strength, the anchor in every storm.
I confess that I so often let fear speak louder than faith. I confess the times I chase after worldly comforts instead of running to You. I confess (be specific). I repent of these sins and gratefully embrace the mercy and forgiveness found in Jesus Christ. Fix my wandering heart on You, Lord. Teach me to trust Your peace when the burdens of life feel too heavy to carry.
I lift my husband to You. (Name him or name the important men in your life or pray for your potential future husband.) Strengthen his confidence, Lord, not in his own abilities or accomplishments, but in the unshakable identity he has in Christ. Root him deeply in Your truth so that he stands firm and walks boldly along the path You have set before him.
I pray for my children. (Name them or name the children over whom you have influence.) Fill them with hope that is anchored in Your promises. Remind them that You have plans for them that are ultimately filled with goodness, purpose, and a future because You are faithful. Guard their hearts against discouragement and grow in them an unshakable trust in You.
I bring before You my extended family (name them). Every life tells a story, and I pray their narrative shines brightly for Your glory. For those who know You and love You, help their actions and words reflect Your love and grace to a watching world. Make their witness strong and their faith contagious, drawing others closer to You. For those who don’t know You, convict them of their need for a Savior and bring them into sweet fellowship with You.
I pray for my friends (name them). Breathe new life into weary souls. Restore what feels broken. Refresh their faith and lead them once again into paths of righteousness. Remind them they are deeply loved, fully known, and never alone. And Lord, I pray for myself. I ask for rest. Real, soul-deep rest that only You can give. Quiet the noise in my mind, ease the weight on my shoulders, and renew my spirit with Your gentle peace. Teach me to come to You daily, moment by moment, finding my refuge and renewal in Your presence.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
I lift up my church leaders. (Name your pastors, elders, and ministry leaders.) Strengthen their commitment to prayer and to the ministry of Your Word. Protect their time with You, deepen their hunger for Your voice, and use them to lead with humility, wisdom, and power that flows from walking closely with You.
Empower the missionaries serving You (name them) to bear much fruit for Your glory. Strengthen their hands, fill their hearts with courage, and cause their work to overflow with eternal impact. I pray for the worldwide church, for my city, and for my country.
May Your kingdom come and Your will be done in every place and every heart. Thank You for hearing my prayers. Thank You for being the God who is peace, who gives peace, and who never changes.
In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
Reflection
Regardless of how out of control you feel, God is still on the throne. Move your eyes from the storm to the Savior. He will be your peace, and He is enough.
Scripture
Psalm 23:3: “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” Proverbs 3:26: “For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.” Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Lamentations 3:22-23: “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness.” Matthew 5:16: “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 11:28: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 15:8: “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” Acts 6:4: “But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” 2 Corinthians 10:5: “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Philippians 4:7: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
“And one called to another and said: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!’”
Isaiah 6:3
Trying to understand the holiness of God is like trying to count and examine every snowflake that falls. Each flake contributes to our awe and appreciation of intricate design, but every flake missed detracts from the full picture of the beauty and magnitude of snow.
In comparison, God’s holiness is more than an endless snowfall; it’s a blizzard that overwhelms the senses and shakes the soul. It culminates in a landscape so vast and magnificent we cannot fully comprehend it. To focus on one aspect of God’s holiness is like looking at one snowflake that leaves us awestruck. To understand God’s holiness in its entirety lies far beyond our capacity. We cannot possibly examine each flake that covers the winter ground.
In Isaiah 6:1-7, Isaiah sees God’s holiness and, for the first time in the book, Isaiah speaks, “Woe is me…” God’s holiness stirs humility, repentance, and grief in his heart because it exposes his sinfulness. There is nothing Isaiah can do except grieve until a burning coal is taken from the altar, pressed to his mouth, his guilt removed, and his sin atoned for.
God’s holiness exposes our sin—yes—but it also provides the means for our cleansing and restoration. God’s holiness doesn’t push us away; it draws us closer to Him, leading us to worship, repentance, and transformation.
Prayer
Father, You are holy, holy, holy. There is no one like You. No one is as perfect, pure, and glorious as You. I come before You like the prophet saying, woe is me. I need You to cleanse me. I humbly enter Your presence because it is my deepest desire to know You more. Stir within me an urgency to seek You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Give me a hunger for Your Word, a longing for Your presence, and a passion for Your truth. Teach me to treasure You above all else and to live in constant pursuit of You.
“And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”
Matthew 22:37
Thank You for the mercy You have extended toward me. I know I am a sinner, yet You have not treated me as my sins deserve. Instead, You lavish upon me grace and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. Thank You for the mercy that meets me new every morning, for the love that surrounds me, and for the hope that sustains me.
I confess my sins before You now. (Pause here and confess.) Forgive me for the ways I have sinned in thought, word, and action. Forgive me for the moments I have doubted You, for the times I have valued other things more than You, and for the ways I have failed to love others as You have commanded. Press the coal to my lips, Lord, and take away my sin.
I ask that You would reveal Yourself to me in greater measure. Open my eyes to see Your glory and help me to see my sin clearly. Expose where and how I displease You, and convict me gently yet powerfully. Do not let me turn away from the truth. Give me the courage and the humility to repent.
“Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.”
Psalm 86:11
I lift my husband to You, Lord. (Name him or name the important men in your life or pray for your potential future husband.) Draw his heart closer to Yours and deepen his relationship with You. Help him seek Your kingdom and Your righteousness. Strengthen his faith and guide his steps so his life reflects You.
I pray for my children’s salvation. (Name your children or name children within your sphere of influence.) You sent Jesus so they might have eternal life. Soften their hearts to receive Your gospel and plant seeds of faith in them to grow. And I pray my actions and speech would water those seeds and not scorch them. Protect them from the lies of the enemy and show them the depth of Your love from an early age.
I also pray for my extended family (name them). I know You desire all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. So, I pray for the salvation of (list loved ones). Use every opportunity to draw them to You. Help me to live in such a way that my life would be a witness of Your love and grace.
Lord, surround my friends (name them) with perfect peace today. Keep their minds stayed on You and deepen their trust in You. Help me be a good friend today.
I pray Psalm 86:11 over myself. Teach me Your way. I want to walk in Your truth. Unite my heart to fear Your name. Help me walk in obedience and faithfulness.
For my church leaders—my pastors, elders, and ministry leaders (name them)—help them love You with all their heart, soul, and mind. Strengthen their devotion to You. Give them wisdom in their decisions, and protect them from the schemes of the enemy.
I also pray for the missionaries boldly working in for You (name missionaries). I pray for my city, my government, and the nations, asking for peace. Help all who labor for You to abide in Christ. Root them in You, bearing fruit that glorifies You and draws others into Your kingdom. Open the eyes and the hearts of those who do not know You. Bring renewal and revival to our world, that You might be exalted in every corner of the earth.
In all these things, I trust Your perfect will and timing. You are holy and worthy of all my praise. I love You, Lord.
In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Reflection
God’s holiness calls you to a higher standard of living, not out of obligation or to earn His favor, but in response to His mercy, love, and grace. As you move through this day, dwell on the holiness of God and invite the Spirit to transform your heart. In every choice, action, and interaction, strive to reflect His glory and point others to Him.
Scripture
Psalm 86:11: “Teach me your way, O LORD, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.”
Isaiah 6:3: “And one called to another and said: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!’”
Isaiah 26:3: “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
Matthew 22:37: “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’”
John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
John 15:4: “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.”
1 Timothy 2:4: [God] “who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
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