by Stacey | Dec 4, 2010 | Special Announcements
There is really only one word to describe today’s visit – difficult. We sometimes find ourselves in an awkward parenting situation. We know we are the parents of these boys, but since we haven’t been the primary caregivers in their life we don’t always feel the freedom to speak up, especially when we are in their foster home and the kids need to honor those house rules.
The boys have come a long way in responding positively to our correction and guidance, but today we landed in an awkward moment when Foster Nanny disciplined one of the boys for something we didn’t think was a big deal. I suspect the boys feel confused by the difference between our house rules and the foster home rules. I keep telling myself it’s only one more week…
We went to the outdoor Ridgeway Christmas event which is not an event I’ll be returning to next year. We waited an hour and a half for a five-minute horse and buggy ride, the only activity we participated in. Again, since we were tagging along with the foster household we didn’t feel ditching the event and finding something more engaging for the kids to do would be polite. By the time the buggy ride was finished all our kids had expressed frustration and tears over the long wait. We could hardly blame them when we felt much the same.
I feel overwhelmed with the thought of another whole week of dragging all the kids back and forth everyday between our homes. What they all really needed today was a quiet day in, a long afternoon nap, and a snuggle with mom and dad. But those days are sure to come.
Both boys had crying fits when they understood we were taking them back to Nanny’s after such a short visit today. I wish there was a way to speed up the process of moving them into our home, but in reality two weeks is quite quick. I keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time. Kaitlyn had her own crying fit on the drive home venting her frustration over the Christmas event that was nothing like she expected it to be.
Currently Katie is sleeping (at 4:42 in the afternoon!). We will probably pay for that later tonight but she really needed to rest. We normally lead a fairly slow-paced and quiet life and this past week has exhausted her. Tomorrow her Sunday school class performs in church and we may be sneaking out immediately afterwards to give her some downtime before we hit the road again for tomorrow’s visit. Six days left and counting…
by Stacey | Dec 3, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Yesterday we didn’t get to see the boys and as a result the whole day felt a bit odd. Today they came at 9:30 am. When they tumbled in the door all smiles and giggles I was hit with how much I missed them yesterday and how happy I was to see them today.
Like every Friday, Kevin was off today so we had a fairly quiet morning. Having Daddy around sure made everything easier, including nap time! We divided and conquered: Jon in our room and Nic in his. I felt like we’d accomplished a major victory when they both rested.
Kaitlyn has been anxious to get the tree up since the calendar flipped over to December so Kevin dragged in the Christmas tree and nine huge bins from the garage. The bins are currently piled in the hallway and we’ll pick away at it as we have time but the tree is up. Undecorated, but up.
Dinner was an amusing as both boys ate us under the table. They came with their appetites today and I can see keeping them fed could be challenging.
When we took the boys back to Foster Nanny both boys cried. After some hugs and kisses Foster Nanny shooed them around the corner and Kevin started loading the van with a few of their things to make our final trip a week from today less cumbersome. The next thing I saw was Nicholas running back crying with blood pouring from his nose. Apparently he threw a temper tantrum over us leaving and cracked his nose on the step. Nanny cleaned him up and we got another cuddle and kiss and it was on that sad note we had to leave.
Tomorrow we are off to an outdoor Christmas event in Ridgeway. We hope for good weather, good temperaments, and a fun family outing. Please keep praying for our family. We are seeing great progress with all three of our kids and we pray the boys will soon feel as secure and loved as Kaitlyn.
On another note, when I got ready for bed tonight I found a note from Kaitlyn hidden under my pillow. It said: Dere Mom, I hope you get sumthgn speshul. Marree Ckismis Mom. Translation: Dear Mommy, I hope you get something special. Merry Christmas Mom.
I did get something special – a thoughtful and wonderful daughter, a loving husband, two fantastic boys and a Savior who loves me. Life is good.
by Stacey | Dec 1, 2010 | Special Announcements
Today’s visit was a series of baby steps. Much like when Kaitlyn learned to walk we saw bold strides forward, staggering steps, and a few stumbles. The boys arrived at 4pm and seemed a bit out of sorts. They wanted to play outside. Then they didn’t. Then they did, and on and on…
We eventually came inside and played downstairs. It was all fairly uneventful. We ate a surprisingly quiet dinner and had a few power struggles which resulted in both boys choosing to sulk (much to their sister’s amusement). However they were easily drawn out of their pout and back into interaction with us.
After dinner we got all three kids into their jammies and watched Frosty the Snowman. Nicholas made a charge toward me and almost knocked the breath from my lungs as he knocked me back and cuddled in for about half the movie. His contentment in my lap was a nice surprise since he normally looks to Kevin for cuddles.
Kaitlyn slept the whole way to Fort Erie and both boys hummed in their car seats an off-tune rendition of Jingle Bells. When we arrived Foster Nanny was not home so we played in the front seats of the van while waiting for her. Our final surprise came when both boys didn’t want to say goodbye to us tonight. We drove home a bit stunned at how quickly their loyalty is shifting from Foster Nanny to us.
After a plethora of hugs and kisses Nicholas sat on the floor with his back to us, mad that we would dare leave him. Jonathan wouldn’t let go of our legs and dragged out the good-bye as long as possible. Kaitlyn giggled at their antics.
It’s not that we are happy they are sad to see us go, but it gives us hope that the transition can be made and they will both settle into our home. We are seeing small steps forward. One day at a time.
by Stacey | Nov 30, 2010 | Special Announcements
Today was our first full day with the boys and we got a glimpse of what life will be like from now on. They arrived by 9:30 am and Kevin drove them back to Foster Nanny for 6:30 pm already in their jammies and ready for bed.
All in all it was a good day. We got to see a bit more of their personalities’ and we are happy to report we are getting two wonderful boys. The day wasn’t without its challenges, but it was also full of rewards.
Kate stayed home from school this morning to play with them and our case worker arrived about 11am to see how things were going. We had a terrific morning.
After lunch Kevin went to work and Kaitlyn went to school and Mommy went insane. The boys had a not so quiet ‘quiet’ time. In no way will they ever nap in the same room again! They stayed in their room an hour and fifteen minutes totally against their will. I could hardly contain my laughter as I listened to them over the monitor scheming and playing.
After picking up Katie from school we did a few errands and came home to read books and play downstairs before dinner. All the kids ate a good meal and Kevin reported all three promptly fell asleep before he hit the highway.
Jonathan and Nicholas have crept into my heart these last few days and have each claimed a spot for themself. Life will never be the same again, but neither will I.
by Stacey | Nov 29, 2010 | The Weekend Visitor
(This post is written by Kevin.)
It’s been said that life is not about the breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away. An amazing sunset. A first kiss. A walk down the aisle. They all qualify. For our family, the last couple of weeks have been a series of these moments that have taken our breath away.
One of those moments has found a permanent home in my memory. It was the day we met our boys, Jonathan and Nicholas, for the first time. We had just finished an hour-long meeting with our caseworker that had given us their brief life history. Their story was fleshed out with some background details about their parents, grandparents, and a few aunts and uncles.
When that part of the meeting ended, she led us down a hallway and through a door. And that’s when it happened, a sort of surreal moment that seemed to be crawling in slow motion. About thirty feet away, in a different room, we saw our boys for the first time through a glass wall. I was supposed to be listening to our caseworker give us some final instructions before meeting them, but I didn’t hear a word she said. My eyes were fixed on my boys, a knot in my stomach, and a lump in my throat. The moment took my breath away.
In Psalm 139, the Bible says that God knows every one of our days before they came to be. The larger context of the passage tells us that not only does God know every one of our days, but he has known about them since before the creation of the world.
That means God knew about July 18, 2005 long before I did. He knew that on a blistering hot summer day in a crowded hotel in mainland China, we would get to hold our little girl for the first time. He knew that on a cold rainy day on November 22, 2010, we would get to meet our boys for the first time. Psalm 139 means that before any of what we see around us even came to be, God knew the day I would be born. He even knows the day that he will call me home to be with him forever. And he knows the same about you.
But only tonight did I realize something pretty amazing. On the way home from our visit with the boys, Stacey said that had we not moved to Niagara three years ago, our lives wouldn’t be changing in the ways they are right now. That’s not what amazes me; even in my limited understanding, I was able to put that together. Nor does it amaze me that Jonathan was born on July 11, 2007, and only three weeks later we moved to Niagara.
What amazes me is that God knew all of that before it came to be. He knows the beginning from the end. What amazes me is that God is the grand orchestrator of all things, and in the midst of weaving together his perfect plan, he is gracious enough to give us these simple yet profound moments that take our breath away.
Our visit at the boy’s foster home tonight ended by putting them to bed, Jonathan in his Thomas the Tank bed, and Nicholas in his racecar bed. As soon as we got home, Katie was off to bed, too.
Only then did I realize something else pretty amazing. Tonight was the first night that I got ‘good nights’ from all three of my kids. First from Nicholas. Then from Jonathan. Then, from my little girl and new big-sister, Katie.
And it took my breath away all over again.
