by Stacey | Apr 28, 2016 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Lie #1: Right parenting produces God-fearing children.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
Ripped out of context, Proverbs 22:6 wields a weighty punch that sucks the life out of many desperate parents. If my child is not walking with the Lord, I failed to train him/her in the ways of the Lord. It is all my fault. Or, equally incorrect, I can manipulate my child into a right relationship with God by ensuring I parent ‘right’.
Proverbs 22:6 is a principle, not a promise. It can be a great encouragement because it is generally true, like many principles in life. But it is not a promise. No one can do anything to guarantee another person will know the Lord as Saviour because the softening of a heart to the gospel, the turning from darkness to light, is a complete work of the Lord.
Lie #2: It is my fault if my children don’t ‘turn out’ right.
We live in a culture that tends to blame mom and dad for EVERYTHING. Granted, there are many times a parent does negatively impact their child. Parental hypocrisy can hinder a child’s acceptance of the gospel. A parent who exasperates a child or belittles a child may find their off-spring is not eager to embrace God because they don’t understand grace, having never experienced it. Parents will give an account for their actions—including how they parented.
Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
But much like lie #1, this lie also fails to account for the sovereignty of God. The sovereignty of God will ALWAYS reign supreme over my ability to parent. There is nothing that I can do that will derail God’s plans for my children. Just as my children are not guaranteed a right relationship with God because of me, they may also enter into a right relationship with God in spite of me. God is sovereign over all.
Lie #3: The goal of parenting is changed behaviour.
Wrong. The goal of parenting is changed hearts.
Proverbs 4:23, “Keep your heart with all vigilance for from it flow the springs of life.”
Romans 10:10, “with the heart one believes and is justified and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.”
Wait – didn’t I just write that a parent cannot change their child’s heart? Correct! You cannot change the condition of your child’s heart. That is a supernatural event powered by the Spirit of God. You can, however, create an environment that glorifies the Lord and prioritizes obedience to the Spirit’s prodding.
You can be receptive to the correction of the Word of God in your life and hold it in high esteem. You can model a lifestyle of asking for and offering forgiveness. You can understand that it is unlikely that you will stimulate godly changes in your children if Truth hasn’t transformed you. Become the parent God has called you to be so you are a ready vessel for Him to work through, should He choose to. Stop obsessing about behaviour modification and instead focus on the heart issues that need addressing in your home, including your heart issues.
by Stacey | Apr 21, 2016 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
It started bright, but soon dimmed. It grew dark enough to blind even the most positive heart, pounding in the message that I’m broken and unable. I’m at the exhausted end of myself where my wisdom is foolishness and my strength will fail. My constant need for the Lord is displayed in this internal, age-old war between the spirit and the flesh, between the light and the dark.
And the enemy’s half-truths sucker-punch my soul.
I am broken. I am unable. I am foolish and weak. But that is only half of the truth statement. When my inability meets God’s ability everything shifts. I am afflicted, but not crushed, perplexed but not despairing, persecuted but not forsaken, struck down but not destroyed because it shows the world that the surpassing power belongs to God, and that I belong to Him. God can rebuild from my mess. God can make a way where I cannot see one. God provides the strength to accomplish His will and the wisdom I need to discern between His voice and mine.
But, I must seek Him. I must desire the Light.
In those desperate moments when I dip my toes into the water I want Him to part, when I look for the manna I think that I need, when I weep for the mercy that I cannot earn, I must turn my face toward the Light. It is only when I come to the place where I am absolutely and undeniably dependent upon the Lord that my soul is refreshed and given the supernatural ability to not lose heart.
This light and momentary affliction is preparing an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.
This turns my sorrow into to praise, my weeping into to thanksgiving. What I need even more than parted water, more than manna from heaven, and more than a false sense of earned favor is the mercy of God opening my eyes to His truth.
I need this humbling, stripping-off of pride. I need the daily sanding of rough edges and the constant reminder that I accomplish nothing of value apart from Him. I need this broken, tired, and desperate heart to not focus on the things seen, but on the things unseen, on the things that are eternal.
I need more than a fleeting prayer for mercy that never thinks of Him again. I need to work out my salvation, to actively pursue obedience, submerged in His presence and His wisdom. I need to search for Him where He promises to be found – in His living and powerful Word. I need to believe that God’s light shines brightest in the dark, that it is impossible to miss His brilliant presence when I earnestly seek His face, and that when I turn to Him on those darker days, He can scatter the shadows and turn my desperation into praise.
by Stacey | Apr 14, 2016 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Lie #1: Marriage is about my happiness.
My husband delights me. He really is my best friend and we have a happy, happy life. But if my joy in life rests entirely with him, I am setting myself up for disappointment and setting him up for failure. Marriage takes compromise and compromise is not always pleasant. Marriage requires forgiveness, and forgiveness is hard. Marriage is about working together with the end goal of a union that brings God great glory. So marriage isn’t about my happiness, although it may bring me much. Marriage is about God. It is, in part, about making me more like Christ. It is a sanctifying journey that requires me to love someone like Christ loves me, with endless grace and patience.
Lie #2: I have to feel love to show love.
We have been married for 18 years. My love for my husband has grown and changed over those years. Our marriage could not sustain those electrifying moments of courtship for nearly two decades. No marriage can.
But, my ability to love my husband does not hinge on those feelings remaining or on him reciprocating my gestures of love. It is entirely up to me whether I will act lovingly toward him. The decision to love, even if he is being unlovable, glorifies God and sustains a marriage. And his decision to love me, when I am unlovable, glorifies God. When I serve my spouse instead of complaining about him, when I acknowledge and praise the things he is doing to provide for our family, when pray for him and with him, when I work on becoming the woman God has called me to be, I am showing the world that love is a choice. I choose to never give up on my marriage because Christ never gave up on me.
And if I’m honest, I’m glad we didn’t stay in that crazy, tingling, wonderful dating phase. Our relationship has evolved into something much deeper and far more real than it was when we promised forever. The transition from infatuation to intentional and committed love can be hard for some couples, but marriage is worth fighting for.
Lie #3: My spouse should meet all my needs.
No person will ever meet all your needs perfectly, only Jesus Christ can do that. At some point, my spouse will fail or disappoint me. At some point, I will fail or disappoint him. And when we hurt each other in our brokenness, we can find rest in the One who will never fail to love and understand us exactly as we require. I must find my identity and worth in my Saviour.
Just as no one can eat your food for you, or accept the truth of the gospel on your behalf, no one can love your spouse for you. You are in charge of that decision. Will you decide today to love the partner that you promised forever?
*none of this implies a spouse in an abusive relationship should remain in a dangerous situation. If your partner is harming or threatening you, it is imperative that you find a safe place and seek biblical counselling.
by Stacey | Apr 7, 2016 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
He preached it on Sunday. Do not be anxious. Then, he confessed the irony of his growing apprehension as the Sunday deadline rushed closer. Even the preacher knows anxiety.
But, he knows anxiousness is only a symptom of the deeper problem. The problem isn’t anxiety, he says. The problem is a distracted heart that strays from God and divides the mind. If you seek first God’s kingdom, the Spirit of God is able to refocus the heart on what matters, because life is about more than what worries us. Seek first the things of God over the things of the world.
And now it’s my turn. Without constant monitoring it would be easy to spiral downward with these questions: Am I parenting right? Are the children learning everything they need to know? Do they know how desperately, whole heartedly, and unconditionally I love them?
Will we have enough money to retire? Should we be saving for college? Do we invest, pay down the mortgage, fix up the house, or just give it all away?
Will my second book get picked up? Will the other one, the one that is my heart ripped open and scratched onto paper? What if God says, no? Or worse, what if he says yes and the reviews are horrid???
Seek first the things of God over the things of the world.
God knows what my children need. He gave them to us. Therefore, we are the right parents for these little ones. Will we parent perfectly? No! Can God work through our humble and sincere efforts to glorify Him and steer our children toward Him? Yes! How it is accomplished? Prioritize the things of the Lord.
When I consider the lilies of the field, how can I worry about our future needs? God cares for the sparrows, and He will care for me. Prioritize God and He promises to care for me.
And the book(s)? If my heart is truly in the proper place of desiring to glorify God with my ability, than WHATEVER He decides to do with my offering will be right and enough. Prioritize getting the message right, proclaiming His Word unashamedly and with boldness. God can take care of the rest.
Seek first the kingdom of God, and God not only provides what we need, He is delighted to give us the kingdom.
Seek Him first, in everything.
*Listen to message from Sunday here. It is titled Breakthrough 2
by Stacey | Mar 31, 2016 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
I’m on my third pot of soup.
This dry, raw throat craves salty chicken broth, and my pre-teen hasn’t yet mastered the soup cooking skill. So, I’m up, stirring soup.
I’m tempted to tuck myself back into bed and forget my responsibilities. I’m tempted to cozy up to Netflix and waste the day, popping pain pills. But, instead, I stir soup.
And the kids crawl out of bed and open their school books (we still homeschool when Mom’s sick). And my husband presses a kiss on my forehead and asks if I need anything else before he leaves. I need so much, but it has nothing to do with the pain in my throat.
I need to press pause. My little ones have become big kids. They no longer fit on my lap or tug at my skirt. They’ve grown into thoughtful children who work hard, play quietly, and try their very best to behave when their mamma is ill. I have husband who loves the Lord, who works hard to provide for his family, who spends his entire day off running the house so I can rest and still asks what more he can do to ease my load. I need to press pause and be thankful.
So, instead of feeling overwhelmed at the laundry, the dishes, the long grocery list, I’ll thank God for the gift wrapped in a raw throat. Because one day, I’ll wish for just one more day. One day, I’ll want to turn back the clock, I’ll wish I had taken a day to be fully present.
So today, I’ll cozy up to my pre-teen with a cup of hot soup and we’ll work the math together. I’ll whisper-read with Irish twins and cherish the slower paced day spent in our jammies. Maybe we’ll get that Netflix movie, but it won’t be me alone in the room. It’ll be us, piled high on the bed, cozy together.
I won’t wish away the gift that is today. The gift that slowed down a busy household to embrace the joy of just being together.
by Stacey | Mar 24, 2016 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Thank you for all the prayers poured out on behalf of this precious family. Because of the overwhelming response to this petition for prayer, they have allowed me to update you on momma and baby. Meet little Matthew, who has changed so much in the few weeks you have been praying for him.
God has answered our prayers and poured out amazing grace toward this family. Momma’s organs are functioning again (praise the LORD!). There are tentative plans to stop dialysis because her kidney function has improved so rapidly. The hospital staff are amazed at her recovery.
Initially, she had limited time with her son due to the severity of her (and his) condition. When she finally got to see him, fear overwhelmed. What if he didn’t know her? How could he know her when the majority of his care came from the nurses? He kicked up his legs, arched his back, mouth wide open in typical new born frustration. Her heart ached. She and her mother prayed that the Lord would show her that Matthew knew SHE is his Mom.
This new momma, still weak and overwhelmed in many ways, rose from her wheelchair and reached out her hand. She placed it on top of his little head and she sang a tender song she had sung to him while she was pregnant. Her boy instantly settled. His legs relaxed and he started that sweet sucking motion with his lips. He knew his mother’s voice.
I love that our God cares about the small prayers just as much as He cares about the big ones. I love that He saw fit to grant her that sweet connection and joy in comforting her child. Thank you, Lord.
And please, keep praying. Little Matthew needs to gain more weight, and there is a long recovery road ahead of him. Pray for his protection against infection.
