by Stacey | Dec 30, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Being zealous can be a good thing. Passion for hobbies and interests can birth great results. Enthusiastic attitudes can overcome great odds and fervent prayer does more than we’ll ever know.
Parents can be zealous. You know the ones I mean. Helicopter Dad that constantly hovers, or super mom charting every bowel movement, minute of sleep, and morsel of food that enters Junior’s mouth. There really is nothing wrong with this, but it could drive a person crazy if they think this is what all good parents are supposed to do.
Take us, for example. We have three kids and we are trying to do this parenting thing right. We’ve read Bringing Up Boys and Bringing Up Girls. We pray for them, over them and with them. And I suspect we still assume WAY TO MUCH stress over things we should be able to let go.
I could spend hours analyzing. Why did she push her brother? Is he under too much stress? Does she feel able to express herself? Does he feel safe?
All good questions. But maybe the answer is she pushed her brother because she is six years old and she just wanted her own way. Yes, it can be very helpful to know why. But sometimes we need to deal with the what. She pushed him. She learns a bit more about sin, consequences, and asking forgiveness and he learns about grace, offering forgiveness and starting over.
My New Year resolution is about taking it one day at a time, one situation at a time, one minute at a time. I still want to understand as much as I can about my kids and their motives behind their actions but I’m also going to try to relax a bit more and enjoy them rather than analyze them.
2011 should be interesting…
by Stacey | Dec 24, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is. ~Amy Carmichael
What a timely reminder for me and dare I say all of us?
During this season of Christmas the hustle and bustle can easily crowd out my time with God. My days and nights are even busier now we have adopted two boys into our family. I find myself asking: How can I slow down? How can I release myself from the pressure of life’s demands? How can spend more time with God when from early morning to late at night I’m answering the calls of my children?
I’ve decided I’m asking the wrong questions. I should be praying: God, please show me everyday what needs to be done and what can wait. God, please help me meet the needs of my children in a way that will direct them toward You and Your love for them. God, please give me the time to meet with You and the energy to do it, and the desire to be in Your presence.
Every day I have a choice. Whom do I please? Do I please my children, whose voices are often the loudest? Do I please myself and selfishly put my needs first? Do I please God?
I want my children to grow up passionate about their faith, passionate about the issues that speak to their hearts. I want to be a mother that lives my faith showing my children through my actions what it means to follow God. But as Lloyd John Ogilvie said, “It can’t happen through you if it hasn’t happened to you.” I need to cherish the time I set aside for my Savior to nurture my own relationship with Him. That will make me a better mother, a better wife, and a better example of Christ’s love to the world.
Christmas is tomorrow morning and I expect a joyful day filled with excited voices and happiness. Our first Christmas as parents of three! I pray I can let go of my expectations and enjoy each moment as it happens. I pray we will have some quiet moments as a family to remember what a sacrifice it was for God to send us Jesus so many years ago. Merry Christmas!
by Stacey | Dec 16, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Since the boys have moved home we have showered them and Kaitlyn with a plethora of hugs and kisses, firm boundaries, and consistent attention. That has made for some tiring days and long nights but like a friend reminded me; no one said it would be easy, only that it would be worthwhile.
All three have adjusted well and our days seem to have fallen into a rhythm of sorts. They come to us for help when they need it, for hugs when they hurt, and cuddles when they feel lonely.
A few nights ago when I tucked Jon into bed we said his prayers, then, like every other night, I said, “I love you, Jon.” For the first time ever he took my face in his tiny hands and squeezed my cheeks together. He said, “I love you more, Mom.”
After a few more minutes of giggles and snuggles I crept out of the room and wiped my eyes. That was the first time my son said he loved me. No words have ever been so sweet.
It gave me a tiny glimpse of how God must feel when a soul finally responds to His constant wooing and love. How His heart must rejoice when a soul goes beyond accepting His care and provision and acknowledges Him and loves Him in return.
Luke 15:10 tells us, “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”
If the angels rejoice over repentance, how much more does God, our creator, rejoice? I can hardly wait to meet Him face to face and fully understand how much He loves me and how much He sacrificed so I would be able to love Him in return.
by Stacey | Dec 12, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
This past weekend was a busy one. It was out first weekend since the boys moved home. We had family visiting, a large women’s event at church and my Sunday school class was performing. I’m tired just remembering the weekend.
To top it all off I went caffeine free today for the first day since we heard about the boys on Nov 18th. My head feels like it could explode.
Despite the somewhat frantic feeling that hovered over the last three days I see how God prepared and provided for me.
Our move in date with the boys was moved up to Wednesday from Friday enabling me to take part in the event I’d spent the last year planning. My mother-in-law was helpful with the kids, meals, and as a general extra set of hands in the house. The Ladies Christmas Gala was a success and due to the thoughtfulness of my fellow women’s ministry team members much of my load was made lighter whenever possible. My Sunday school class performed a funky country western Christmas song this morning and the boys wanted to stay in the Nursery enabling me to guide my class as planned. Due to the nature of the song my teaching partner and I enlisted the help of our choir director which relieved me of much pressure leading up to this morning.
All these things could be chalked up to coincidences or good fortune by a skeptic, but I know the truth. Long before we knew about these boys and how they would change our lives God knew. As we made choices and commitments in the days and weeks leading up to this season he also prepared others to step in and help. We are very grateful to those who carried our load these last few weeks. We are very grateful to a God who is concerned with the details.
He cares when we are over-tired.
He cares when we are pulling out our hair unsure if the current tantrum is a three-year-old being three, or a three-year-old adjusting to all the changes in his young life.
He cares.
That knowledge makes everything a little easier. Whatever tomorrow brings I know God cares. I know he has prepared my way.
by Stacey | Dec 3, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Yesterday we didn’t get to see the boys and as a result the whole day felt a bit odd. Today they came at 9:30 am. When they tumbled in the door all smiles and giggles I was hit with how much I missed them yesterday and how happy I was to see them today.
Like every Friday, Kevin was off today so we had a fairly quiet morning. Having Daddy around sure made everything easier, including nap time! We divided and conquered: Jon in our room and Nic in his. I felt like we’d accomplished a major victory when they both rested.
Kaitlyn has been anxious to get the tree up since the calendar flipped over to December so Kevin dragged in the Christmas tree and nine huge bins from the garage. The bins are currently piled in the hallway and we’ll pick away at it as we have time but the tree is up. Undecorated, but up.
Dinner was an amusing as both boys ate us under the table. They came with their appetites today and I can see keeping them fed could be challenging.
When we took the boys back to Foster Nanny both boys cried. After some hugs and kisses Foster Nanny shooed them around the corner and Kevin started loading the van with a few of their things to make our final trip a week from today less cumbersome. The next thing I saw was Nicholas running back crying with blood pouring from his nose. Apparently he threw a temper tantrum over us leaving and cracked his nose on the step. Nanny cleaned him up and we got another cuddle and kiss and it was on that sad note we had to leave.
Tomorrow we are off to an outdoor Christmas event in Ridgeway. We hope for good weather, good temperaments, and a fun family outing. Please keep praying for our family. We are seeing great progress with all three of our kids and we pray the boys will soon feel as secure and loved as Kaitlyn.
On another note, when I got ready for bed tonight I found a note from Kaitlyn hidden under my pillow. It said: Dere Mom, I hope you get sumthgn speshul. Marree Ckismis Mom. Translation: Dear Mommy, I hope you get something special. Merry Christmas Mom.
I did get something special – a thoughtful and wonderful daughter, a loving husband, two fantastic boys and a Savior who loves me. Life is good.
by Stacey | Oct 13, 2010 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
As I sit in the kitchen typing this blog I can hear the wailing of my six-year-old daughter. She is in her room until Dad gets home. Why? She’s been telling lies.
She’s recently discovered that she can avoid trouble by telling a lie – as long as she doesn’t get caught. I’m not sure how to impress upon her the importance of truth when sometimes the truth has obvious undesirable consequences.
Like today, she pushed a friend down resulting in a cut lip. She told me he fell ‘all by himself.’ I suspected the truth was he had a little help hitting the pavement but since he wouldn’t confirm my theory I had no choice but to doctor his wound and let it go.
Later the truth came out. Help had come in the form of two six-year-old hands pushing him down. When confronted this time my daughter told the truth and now she sits in her room crying.
I’ve often told her that consequences are bigger if you lie. I said, “Had you told the truth you would have had to apologize and have a time out and then you could have played again.” Now, she waits for Daddy and me to discuss the consequence of both her actions and her lie. The truth would have been simpler. The truth would have been less painful. Yet, the truth is not the route she has been taking lately.
How does a parent impress upon a six-year-old the importance of truth? In some ways I think, “She’s only six.” In others ways I think, “Six is plenty old enough to understand the value of honesty.”
To all the parents and grandparents that have gone before me and to the friends walking the same road with their kids, I humbly ask for your advice!
