A simple lesson

Looking back over previous posts I noticed one from early November. It pretty much stated the very lesson God is currently teaching me (again!). It raised a chuckle and thankfulness that God is willing to remind me of the principles I should already be applying to life.

When life feels out of control or when I feel overwhelmed with my list of responsibilities I turn to God and ask for help. Guess what He usually tells me? Life feels crazy when I forget to prioritize Him.

I still need to edit my book. It’s getting there, but not as fast as I’d like. I like to keep up on my housework. I enjoy playing with the kids and not feeling too busy or stressed to enjoy them. I have a column to which I contribute, a speaking engagement coming up, and article deadlines looming. Not to mention this blog…

For the last few days I’ve once again taken the time to spend quality time with God in the morning instead of just the frantic few minutes that creep up in the midst of chaos. Instead of flying into my day at break neck speed I’ve set the laundry aside, left the dishes in the sink, and the beds unmade and eased into the day with God, my bible and a caffeinated hot beverage.

Now it’s 10am. My blog is almost updated. The beds are made. The laundry is done. The kids are playing. I haven’t made dinner, but I know what we are having. The dishes are still in the sink but it’s not bothering me as much as usual.

I’m not sure how all this was accomplished considering we slept a half hour later than usual and I spent twice as much time with the Lord as normal. I believe God is blessing my efforts. I believe He is happy that I chose Him first and now He’s helping me efficiently finish my tasks.

I don’t expect everyday to go this well. Some days the dishes may still be in the sink at dinnertime and yesterday the beds were not made at all. But guess what? I survived. At the end of the day what matters is not now much I accomplished, but spending time in a manner that pleases God. How that looks might be different in each household. In ours, it means I need to relax and let the little stuff go and focus on what God want me to do.

A lesson I seem to learn over and over again.

The Journal

When we adopted Kaitlyn a friend gave us a special gift. She gave us a blank journal with this inscription:

“Fill these pages with all the love, dreams, advice and wisdom you hold in your heart for Kaitlyn. Enjoy every moment.”

Over the last five years I have faithfully recorded (some of) my prayers for Kate, my hopes and my deep love for her. I pasted in an annual picture and I envision giving it to her someday. I want her to be able to read how I have prayed for her over the years, how God has answered those prayers, and how much joy she brought into my life.

Today I did something I have been thinking about since Nov 18th, but never seemed to have the time (or health) to do. I bought two new journals. One for Jon. One for Nick.

I spent some time today pasting in three pictures in each one. The first picture is the youngest one we have of each of them. Then in Jon’s journal I added a picture of him at age 2 and at 3. In Nick’s journal I added a picture at age 1 and at 2. (We have these early pictures thanks to Foster Nanny.)

Beside each picture I noted what was happening in our lives when the snapshot was taken. I chronicled how God moved us here, to the province and city where these boys were waiting for adoption. I noted how God answered ours and Kaitlyn’s prayers by sending us these two boys and I shared how although we didn’t know them we had been faithfully praying for them. It is amazing to look back and see how God answered our prayers over the years. We prayed our future children were safe and both were taken into care before safety became a concern. We prayed for a good foster home and they were placed in a GREAT foster home. We prayed they would feel loved and we have no doubt they were both loved greatly. God is good.

I look forward to filling the rest of the pages over the next days, months and years. One day, when they are older, they too will be given their journal and read about how much we love them, how much God loves them and how they were an answer to our prayers.

New Year Resolution

Being zealous can be a good thing.  Passion for hobbies and interests can birth great results.  Enthusiastic attitudes can overcome great odds and fervent prayer does more than we’ll ever know.

Parents can be zealous. You know the ones I mean. Helicopter Dad that constantly hovers, or super mom charting every bowel movement, minute of sleep, and morsel of food that enters Junior’s mouth. There really is nothing wrong with this, but it could drive a person crazy if they think this is what all good parents are supposed to do.

Take us, for example. We have three kids and we are trying to do this parenting thing right. We’ve read Bringing Up Boys and Bringing Up Girls. We pray for them, over them and with them. And I suspect we still assume WAY TO MUCH stress over things we should be able to let go.

I could spend hours analyzing. Why did she push her brother? Is he under too much stress? Does she feel able to express herself?  Does he feel safe?

All good questions. But maybe the answer is she pushed her brother because she is six years old and she just wanted her own way. Yes, it can be very helpful to know why. But sometimes we need to deal with the what. She pushed him. She learns a bit more about sin, consequences, and asking forgiveness and he learns about grace, offering forgiveness and starting over.

My New Year resolution is about taking it one day at a time, one situation at a time, one minute at a time. I still want to understand as much as I can about my kids and their motives behind their actions but I’m also going to try to relax a bit more and enjoy them rather than analyze them.

2011 should be interesting…

Christmas Eve

Blessed are the single-hearted, for they shall enjoy much peace. If you refuse to be hurried and pressed, if you stay your soul on God, nothing can keep you from that clearness of spirit which is life and peace. In that stillness you will know what His will is. ~Amy Carmichael

What a timely reminder for me and dare I say all of us?

During this season of Christmas the hustle and bustle can easily crowd out my time with God. My days and nights are even busier now we have adopted two boys into our family. I find myself asking: How can I slow down? How can I release myself from the pressure of life’s demands? How can spend more time with God when from early morning to late at night I’m answering the calls of my children?

I’ve decided I’m asking the wrong questions. I should be praying: God, please show me everyday what needs to be done and what can wait. God, please help me meet the needs of my children in a way that will direct them toward You and Your love for them. God, please give me the time to meet with You and the energy to do it, and the desire to be in Your presence.

Every day I have a choice. Whom do I please? Do I please my children, whose voices are often the loudest? Do I please myself and selfishly put my needs first? Do I please God?

I want my children to grow up passionate about their faith, passionate about the issues that speak to their hearts. I want to be a mother that lives my faith showing my children through my actions what it means to follow God. But as Lloyd John Ogilvie said, “It can’t happen through you if it hasn’t happened to you.” I need to cherish the time I set aside for my Savior to nurture my own relationship with Him. That will make me a better mother, a better wife, and a better example of Christ’s love to the world.

Christmas is tomorrow morning and I expect a joyful day filled with excited voices and happiness. Our first Christmas as parents of three! I pray I can let go of my expectations and enjoy each moment as it happens. I pray we will have some quiet moments as a family to remember what a sacrifice it was for God to send us Jesus so many years ago. Merry Christmas!

First I love you

Since the boys have moved home we have showered them and Kaitlyn with a plethora of hugs and kisses, firm boundaries, and consistent attention.  That has made for some tiring days and long nights but like a friend reminded me; no one said it would be easy, only that it would be worthwhile.

All three have adjusted well and our days seem to have fallen into a rhythm of sorts.  They come to us for help when they need it, for hugs when they hurt, and cuddles when they feel lonely.

A few nights ago when I tucked Jon into bed we said his prayers, then, like every other night, I said, “I love you, Jon.”  For the first time ever he took my face in his tiny hands and squeezed my cheeks together.  He said, “I love you more, Mom.”

After a few more minutes of giggles and snuggles I crept out of the room and wiped my eyes.  That was the first time my son said he loved me. No words have ever been so sweet.

It gave me a tiny glimpse of how God must feel when a soul finally responds to His constant wooing and love.  How His heart must rejoice when a soul goes beyond accepting His care and provision and acknowledges Him and loves Him in return.

Luke 15:10 tells us, “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”

If the angels rejoice over repentance, how much more does God, our creator, rejoice?  I can hardly wait to meet Him face to face and fully understand how much He loves me and how much He sacrificed so I would be able to love Him in return.

Busy Busy Busy

This past weekend was a busy one.  It was out first weekend since the boys moved home. We had family visiting, a large women’s event at church and my Sunday school class was performing.  I’m tired just remembering the weekend.

To top it all off I went caffeine free today for the first day since we heard about the boys on Nov 18th.  My head feels like it could explode.

Despite the somewhat frantic feeling that hovered over the last three days I see how God prepared and provided for me.

Our move in date with the boys was moved up to Wednesday from Friday enabling me to take part in the event I’d spent the last year planning.  My mother-in-law was helpful with the kids, meals, and as a general extra set of hands in the house. The Ladies Christmas Gala was a success and due to the thoughtfulness of my fellow women’s ministry team members much of my load was made lighter whenever possible. My Sunday school class performed a funky country western Christmas song this morning and the boys wanted to stay in the Nursery enabling me to guide my class as planned.  Due to the nature of the song my teaching partner and I enlisted the help of our choir director which relieved me of much pressure leading up to this morning.

All these things could be chalked up to coincidences or good fortune by a skeptic, but I know the truth.  Long before we knew about these boys and how they would change our lives God knew.  As we made choices and commitments in the days and weeks leading up to this season he also prepared others to step in and help.  We are very grateful to those who carried our load these last few weeks.  We are very grateful to a God who is concerned with the details.

He cares when we are over-tired.

He cares when we are pulling out our hair unsure if the current tantrum is a three-year-old being three, or a three-year-old adjusting to all the changes in his young life.

He cares.

That knowledge makes everything a little easier.  Whatever tomorrow brings I know God cares.  I know he has prepared my way.