Life has a way of bringing even the strongest person to their knees. Inconvenient health surprises, upset children, and stress can undo even the best, high energy, and most positive person.
Totally.
And that’s where I am. Undone. On my knees. Completely overwhelmed. But let me tell you, the view from down here is astounding.
God has hidden slivers of pure joy in the chaos. In opportunities to extend grace, offer forgiveness, and find the colour lurking behind the black and white. And when I find those slivers, life explodes in a rainbow of pure joy.
Joy in drawing closer to God despite overwhelming uncertainty.
Joy in surrendering my plans for His; my will to His.
Joy in allowing God to reveal the many things that I struggle to carry. The very things that He wants to carry for me, if I’d let Him.
I’m learning that motherhood is both the most important and hardest role I’ll ever fill. And I’m learning to circle back to grace and find those precious moments of joy.
I’m learning more about the hugeness of my sin and the constant battle between my own sinful nature and the Holy Spirit.
I’m learning that I have a lot more to learn. A lot more.
And just when I think I have a handle on it all God peels back another layer and I see my smallness in contrast to His greatness with fresh eyes.
I have barely scratched the surface of who God is and what His plan is for my life, and how it can all be pure joy, if I let it.
Stacey Amen and amen. We are praying for you and Kevin. May God continue to bestow His grace lavishly. I’m counting on it and can’t live without it. Press on Jennifer
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Thank you Jennifer! We value your prayers more than you know.
Have you read Victim of Grace by Robin Jones Gunn??? I think you will love it!! She writes about personal stories where in hindsight she could see how what she thought was discouraging, heartbreaking, etc was actually God’s grace bringing her to where he always planned for her to go as well as she threads that same theme through a bunch of women in the Bible as well! It’s really a good book! I just finished reading it 2 days ago!
I’ve read other books by Robin Jones Gunn, but not this one. I’ll have to look it up. Thanks for the tip!
The way you express your journey is thoughtful and elegant all at the same time. This moment in life brings some of life’s greatest blessings and challenges. I see this is what you are finding on a daily baisis. These thoughts brings to mind one of my Harts Helpful Hints: thankfulness is the key to unlock joy. This joy as you so well expressed is based in His character and promises. Today I am thankful for God bringing you into my life,and the life of our church. This is all about His plan and His goodness to us. Jerm 29:11 🙂 Jane H
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I love the idea of Harts Helpful Hints! Hart was my mother’s maiden name. I wonder if we were to search back far enough if we would learn that we are related 🙂