Life has a way of bringing even the strongest person to their knees. Inconvenient health surprises, upset children, and stress can undo even the best, high energy, and most positive person.

Totally.

And that’s where I am. Undone. On my knees. Completely overwhelmed. But let me tell you, the view from down here is astounding.

God has hidden slivers of pure joy in the chaos. In opportunities to extend grace, offer forgiveness, and find the colour lurking behind the black and white. And when I find those slivers, life explodes in a rainbow of pure joy.

Joy in drawing closer to God despite overwhelming uncertainty.

Joy in surrendering my plans for His; my will to His.

Joy in allowing God to reveal the many things that I struggle to carry. The very things that He wants to carry for me, if I’d let Him.

I’m learning that motherhood is both the most important and hardest role I’ll ever fill.  And I’m learning to circle back to grace and find those precious moments of joy.

I’m learning more about the hugeness of my sin and the constant battle between my own sinful nature and the Holy Spirit.

I’m learning that I have a lot more to learn. A lot more.

And just when I think I have a handle on it all God peels back another layer and I see my smallness in contrast to His greatness with fresh eyes.

I have barely scratched the surface of who God is and what His plan is for my life, and how it can all be pure joy, if I let it.