by Stacey | Sep 19, 2013 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
A few years back I started praying for my husband in a new way. I still prayed for his health, to feel fulfilled, for time management, and for his spiritual life, but there was also a new focus.
I prayed for God to stretch him. To challenge him. To give him an even greater desire for HIs Word. I prayed that God would shape him into a leader that glorifies God.
I prayed and watched, and watched and prayed. Every time Kevin said something about how God was working in him, a bolt of excitement zipped through me. God heard my prayers.
But then, He answered in a way I never expected.
I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t like where God was leading Kevin, who, in turn, was leading our family to follow. Negativity rushed through me.
I will not uproot our kids and move to another country.
I will not leave our wonderful church family.
I will not spend an entire year in constant transition.
I. Will. Not.
I am so ashamed.
I still remember the day I wrestled with God over submission. He so very clearly revealed His will. I cried. (Actually, I sobbed.) I voiced all my fears. I listed all the thing I loved about our current season of life, then one by one I gave them back to God.
I left that encounter both shattered and encouraged—forever changed.
And here we are, less than six months later, living in another country, having said good-bye to a wonderful church family, and in the midst of a year of transitions. All the fears I felt have dissipated and I see this season of life as a wonderful blessing.
How many people get four months off from the daily grind? Yes, I still have lunches to make, clothing to wash and meals to cook. But I have less house to maintain, none of our personal clutter distracting me, all three kids in school and entire days available to devote to knowing God better.
I left my habits at home and committed this time to learning new ways.
For example:
We are eating cleaner (I am constantly researching new recipes to aid this desire).
We are far more physically active now that the only schedule we need to work around is Kevin’s training schedule (I’m not working and the kids are not in various programs).
And most importantly, we are more focused on praising God and hearing from Him than ever before. I can feel God peeling back layers of restraint and releasing me into sweet times of worship. An increasing desire to be available and used by Him grows.
God made seemingly impossible things possible.
God blessed me through the very things I feared.
God worked in me, in spite of me, and is not only continuing to answer my prayer for Kevin, but is shaping and molding me into the woman He desires.
Thank you God for not giving up on me.
Thank you God for not allowing my stubborn heart to remain hard.
Thank you God.
What I saw as a trial, was Your mercy in disguise.
by Stacey | Sep 12, 2013 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
It has been a wonderful blessing to be in Elgin at the Harvest Training Center. We’ve met other families like ours. Families stretched beyond comfort. Rattled by God’s invitation to move stubborn feet from a false feeling of control and into the safest place ever – the center of His will.
Here, different voices tell the same story. I suspect our stories are probably much like your stories. Different locations. Different details. Similar themes.
I love how one fellow student shared:
We thought God was writing our story. Then, when we showed up, we learned God was already 30 chapters in writing a story that was never really about us.
What a thought. We are not the main character in our own life story. We are not the hero. In some ways, we are hardly a footnote at the bottom of the page that is our life.
But somehow we fall into this self-centred pattern of thinking that believes life is all about ME. Somehow I buy into the foolish notion that when I finally surrender my life to God, He begins penning chapter one. Chapter one of a new book in the series of my life.
Consider that maybe it is not chapter one of a new book, but a new chapter in an old book. A very old book that God began writing long before I breathed my first breath.
How God must shake his head and chuckle at my puffed up self-importance. That anything can start and end with me. This is God’s story and He is WAY MORE than 30 chapters in. This story started before there was time. This story has no beginning and no end.
Somewhere along the line God wove a thread of humanity into His story. Way back when God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, entwined in an intimate dance I struggle to understand, breathed life into this place I call home. For reasons I’ll never understand, the Triune God wrote me in. And if you are alive—you’re in the book too. You have a role—and it matters—but it’s not about you.
It’s humbling to acknowledge my own insignificance. Yet it’s liberating to know life is not about me. Ministry is not about me. Nor is either dependant upon me. This story centres on Jesus. And trust me, you want Him, not me, penning the ending.
My small part in a larger, much larger story, is designed to bring glory to God our Father, the creator of Heaven and Earth.
So is yours.
by Stacey | Aug 29, 2013 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
My niece just moved in with our family. Here she is unpacking her life.
She had dedicated the next year to her studies. She is spending the next year learning. Learning her craft. Preparing for the future.
When was the last time that I spent a huge block of time solely dedicated to learning? Learning what’s important? Preparing myself for eternity?
What am I learning?
Right here, right now God is teaching me about grace. I am learning about forgiveness. I am learning that things are not always black and white.
I’m learning I don’t need all the answers, I just need to trust God has them and that He’s got my back. That leads to my next lesson. I’m learning about trust.
I’m learning that motherhood is both the most important and hardest role I’ll ever have. And that leads me back to grace.
Did I mention I am learning more about grace?
I’m learning I’m wrong far more than I like to admit. I’m learning that attitude counts for a lot. I’m learning more about the hugeness of my sin and the constant battle between my own sinful nature and the Holy Spirit.
I’m learning I have a lot to learn.
Just when I think I have a handle on it all, God peels back another layer and I see my smallness in contrast to His greatness with fresh eyes again.
I’m learning that I have barely scratched the surface of who God is and what His plan is for my life.
I’m learning even more about grace.
What are you learning?
by Stacey | Aug 8, 2013 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
When God asked Kevin and I to leave our comfortable and happy home in St Catharines and follow Him into the great unknown, I felt fear.
Not fear about the actual move, because God had spent the past year preparing me for this moment of obedience. But fear of lost friendships. Of being misunderstood. Of making a mess of what had been a beautiful place to worship and serve.
I had hoped that when we announced God’s plan to use us in a church plant in a new city, that our friends would do more than accept the change. I desired their support. I had hoped that our departure would feel less like us leaving, and more like them sending. Them sending us out with their blessing to further the work of God’s kingdom.
But was it naive to hope a congregation could send away their pastor and family with this sentiment?
Last Sunday we stood on the platform at our final service with our Orchard Park family. We were surrounded by friends. Some smiling. Some tearful. All supportive.
Then, one of our elders spoke words that brought instant tears to my eyes (tears that flowed steady for the next hour or so!). He referred to Orchard Park Bible Church as our sending church. He called for a committment from the people to pray for us now, and in the future months, for the adventure that awaits. He requested updates from us so they can pray specifically, and offered wonderful words of encouragement. He sent us with their support, their blessing, and their love.
He has no idea what his words meant. He has no idea that those exact words were words that I prayed to hear. Well, maybe he will if some of you reading this tell him 🙂
God is good. Oh, so good. We didn’t leave, we were sent. That little word makes all the difference in the world.
Sent with a blessing.
Sent with support.
Sent in love.
Thank you, Orchard Park, for letting God use you to answer my prayer as we obeyed His command to go.
by Stacey | Jul 25, 2013 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
Sometimes life overwhelms. All appears lost. Evil thrives. The tragic and hopeless state of our fallen world weighs down my heavy heart.
Lifestyle addictions, relationship issues, work problems, and illness. I long to offer comfort – to be comforted. But how? Even when I am trusted enough to be welcomed into a friend’s pain, I come up empty.
Anything I can say sounds like a weak platitude.
Then I remember.
I am not the deliverer. I need only to direct others to the Deliverer, to remind myself where I find deliverance.
I can sit beside them and hold their hand. I can intercede on their behalf. I can share my tears and cover them in prayer. That is my place, words of prayer not platitudes.
I pray the Word of God will comfort them and I allow the Word of God to comfort me. I ask for wisdom from God, given through the Holy Spirit, so we can walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. I pray our lives will be fully pleasing to God, ever productive, and in a state of continual learning. I ask for God’s power to live such a life and for patience, endurance, and joy.
I give thanks to God for delivering us from darkness and for transferring us into the kingdom of His beloved Son. It is in Christ that we find redemption and forgiveness. In Christ alone, there is victory. In Christ alone. (Col 1:9-14)
Even when I have nothing, I have everything. Filled with the fullness of God. Overflowing in His love. Trusting in His plan.
This is my prayer, for me and for you.
by Stacey | Jul 18, 2013 | Devotionals, reflections, and encouragement
How do I leave the place where I am loved, safe, and accepted?
How do I leave my home, friends like family, and all that is familiar?
How do I leave knowing that not everyplace is as accepting, loving, and encouraging as this one has been?
Because God calls.
The only thing scarier than the unknown, is willfully disobeying God. If I stamp my feet and refuse to move when God commands, I risk losing His blessing. If I defiantly remain in the comfortable, it will become uncomfortable. Because if God can no longer bless me here, if He removes Himself from my presence because I demanded my own way, all that was good is tainted and destroyed.
I do not long to go, but I will.
I did not ask to go, but He asked me to go.
I do not know what awaits, but I remember what has been.
I remember His blessings. I remember how He has carried me though other transitions. I remember how He has provided above and beyond my wildest dreams, not how I expected, but exactly what I needed. Always.
I will remember and believe.
My God is the same God He was yesterday when I cried leaving Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan and all that was familiar. He is the same God today, as I prepare to leave St Catharines, and all that makes this place home. He will be the same God tomorrow when He plants us in a new community to love. He never leaves, nor forsakes His children.
I can go, because He goes before me.
