Rainy days breed insanity. Maybe it’s being cooped up in the house. Maybe it’s change in the atmosphere. Maybe it’s the crazy mom banging her head against the wall. Who knows?
All I know is the odd rainy day is okay. But string a few together and add three to eight stir-crazy kids and I’m ready to jump onto the back of the loony wagon and hitch a ride to the funny farm.
All it takes for a dreary grey day to dampen my spirit is a few crying kids hanging off my leg, dinner burning in the oven, and endless phone calls.
These crazy moments always seems to coincide with my children wanting extra cuddle time or needing to engage in serious conversation. Some days two hands, two ears, and 24 hours feel dreadfully inadequate!
I regret missed opportunities. I lose my cool when asked the same question for the millionth time. I wonder if I’m expecting too much or settling for too little.
Misgivings like these send me to my knees grateful for grace. Grace that covers all my sins. I know I need to take every opportunity to prepare my children for tomorrow. I know I need to use every moment to reinforce how much God loves them and how He has a plan for their future, a plan only they can fulfill. I also know I accomplish this through His strength alone.
Large decisions loom ahead. Friends. Education. Dating. Spouse. Career. Our kids need self-confidence, faith, and wisdom to navigate through middle school, high school, college, university, and marriage. I will not guide them perfectly because I am not a perfect parent. But I serve a God who is perfect, a God who promises to never leave me nor forsake me, a God who promises wisdom when I ask and delights in my request. God loves my children even more than I do and He longs for me to I bring them before His throne in prayer confessing my inadequacies and claiming His sufficiency.
In chaos of the moment may I never forget God is with me. That doesn’t mean dinner will never burn or my patience won’t run thin. Trust me, it has and it does. It means I have someone to turn too in those hairy moments of life. I have the opportunity model what a real dependence on God looks like.
Based on Sept 27th 2010 post.
thanks for sharing from your heart. I feel inadequate far too often but you are right. God is right there waiting to extend His grace and forgiveness and pick us up and give us courage and strength to keep on in this wifing and mothering journey. Hugs to you!
Hugs right back Ellie. Your transparency and honesty regarding your own life always points me to God. Friends like you are a blessing.
Hi Stacey. we would really need to push our memory button but we can and do recall at least some of the scene you describe. By way of consolation (Hah), speaking from experience, the two curses that come with “getting old” are 1)Loneliness and even worse 2)Self pity! Thank God for the confusion and hang on to that “Amazing Grace”! Blessings, Ian
Thanks Ian. I hope you guys are doing well and recovering. I miss you both!!!